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Today is a new beginning

January 7, 2023

I started the new year off depressed. I ordered McDonald's from uber eats. One large strawberry shake, one hot fudge sunday which they forgot or ate themselves, a Big Mac and Spicy Chicken meal. All to myself. Probably passed out on New Year's Eve at 9 p.m. cst. I didn't even turn the tv on to see what the rest of the world was doing. I knew what they were doing. Raging about how this year is going to be different, this year is going to be their best. New year, new me!

Isn't that we always hope for? That tomorrow is going to be better? That today sucked. I was fucked up. A car crash happened. Or the love of your life broke up with you. You know the feeling that you just want the day to end so tomorrow you can start over? Now its the end of the year, and I just want that to end. So I can start over. Imagine your life feeling that you just want it to end. That you feel worthless, your life is savage and not salvagable. The best solution is for it to end. You have hurt so many people, made terrible mistakes, and you are alone. 36, never married, no kids, on an hourly wage, living in a co-op with multiple roomates, and relying on men to help fit the bills in between.

So, how did I get here? Who am I? Where am I going? Where do I want to go? I enjoy the



1 Comment


Octavia Ratiu
Octavia Ratiu
Jan 07, 2023

Love the blog. Remember, we are never far away, whenever you want to come back and try again…


”Come all the way in, and sit all the way down, and stay — to show others what’s happened to you.”

Love you girlie. - Octavia

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